Sexual love, passion, eroticism, and sensuality are obviously germane to our human existence. God created these emotions, feelings, thoughts, and desires within each of us. Hence, they are godly and good within the healthy confines of our humanity, our lives, and our human behavior. Our Creator not only wants us to enjoy these gifts, but He, as our Loving Creator-God, wants us to enjoy His gifts to fullest of our human ability. And as the case with all gifts, all actions, all behaviors, all things of this world, we must acknowledge and accept the godly limitations of this world. It is only within these boundaries, not man’s boundaries, but boundaries established by our Creator, that we find that greatest, most complete, most liberating enjoyment. In God’s world, boundaries are not designed to limit our joy, but rather to free us from and to keep us from the decrees, actions, and temptations that would rob us of godly joy. No greater joy can a husband and wife have on this earth than to become one flesh, spiritually, soulfully, and physically. Notice God’s order of our three beings. The spiritual and the soulful connections are more important than the physical connections. But yet the physical connection is a God commanded connection for a complete becoming of one flesh for husbands and wives.
As a young man and minister I often heard and was taught that sexual passion was something that believers had to fight and should abhor. However, I was never able to reconcile those words and teachings with the general revelation of God or the written word of God. Scripture only derides and says to put away sexual passion that has a genesis, is acted upon, or fulfilled outside God’s boundaries. Furthermore, if sexual passion has no benefit for humanity, and thus, ultimately, no benefit for Him, then why did God create sexual passion in man? However, any open and honest study of human sexuality in the Scripture shows that not only does God not disdain sexual passion within the confines of a godly, natural marriage but also that the Scripture encourages and promotes sexual passion.
As a pastor, counselor, missionary, and seminary professor and having lived among, traveled among, taught, and ministered to countless peoples and cultures around this world, I have had opportunity to see human sexuality from myriad angles and perspectives. As mentioned earlier, our spiritual and soulful beings are what connect us to God and to other believers. However, it is our physical beings that connect us to our spouses in the most intimate way. To deny the godly importance of human sexuality in our lives would be akin to denying the very creation of God. To eliminate sexual passion in our marriages is to eliminate the most intimate connection with our spouse that God has provided us.
Our sexuality can be the most wonderful, pleasurable and sacred gift of erotic (eros) love, or our personal sexuality can be another casualty of our fear and a wounding brought on by ignorance or suppression at our own hands or the hands of those whom we allow to influence us. Likewise, personal, unfettered selfishness can also destroy the beauty of erotic love as God intended it. Love and sexuality are so intertwined with our human spirituality and being, whether we consciously realize it or not, whether we embrace our sexuality or feel shame while attempting to repress our sexuality due to past religious, cultural, or social influences, it all boils down to the fact that our sexuality was created by God within us, as part of His image, and it is a great measure of how we came to be here, why we are here, what we do here, and who we are while here. Yes, love and sexuality can be found in our very existence and creation. And as God is able to accept us for what we are, through His divine work, so should we also accept ourselves.
As human beings, much of our mental imagery, our thoughts, our desires, and so, our urges and impulses come from what is communicated to us by others. What we read often fuels our passions. Words can and do influence not only what we want but also how we feel, how we “see” things and people. A husband should see his wife in the most desirous ways. The wife should see the husband likewise. Our spouse should see us as being able to provide for all of our needs: spiritual, soulful, and physical. We should do our best and also seek God’s grace in being able to be that provider. Yes, we will certainly fall short. However, falling short does not give us a godly reason to stop providing or to cease striving to be a better provider for all our spouse’s needs and desires.
God has provided us with much reason why sexual passion for our spouse is needed in our lives. He has even provided us with a godly picture of that sexual passion within the scriptures that He has left for us. Then why should we not embrace, encourage, teach, and communicate such sexual passion in our marriages?
Young Stag
As a young man and minister I often heard and was taught that sexual passion was something that believers had to fight and should abhor. However, I was never able to reconcile those words and teachings with the general revelation of God or the written word of God. Scripture only derides and says to put away sexual passion that has a genesis, is acted upon, or fulfilled outside God’s boundaries. Furthermore, if sexual passion has no benefit for humanity, and thus, ultimately, no benefit for Him, then why did God create sexual passion in man? However, any open and honest study of human sexuality in the Scripture shows that not only does God not disdain sexual passion within the confines of a godly, natural marriage but also that the Scripture encourages and promotes sexual passion.
As a pastor, counselor, missionary, and seminary professor and having lived among, traveled among, taught, and ministered to countless peoples and cultures around this world, I have had opportunity to see human sexuality from myriad angles and perspectives. As mentioned earlier, our spiritual and soulful beings are what connect us to God and to other believers. However, it is our physical beings that connect us to our spouses in the most intimate way. To deny the godly importance of human sexuality in our lives would be akin to denying the very creation of God. To eliminate sexual passion in our marriages is to eliminate the most intimate connection with our spouse that God has provided us.
Our sexuality can be the most wonderful, pleasurable and sacred gift of erotic (eros) love, or our personal sexuality can be another casualty of our fear and a wounding brought on by ignorance or suppression at our own hands or the hands of those whom we allow to influence us. Likewise, personal, unfettered selfishness can also destroy the beauty of erotic love as God intended it. Love and sexuality are so intertwined with our human spirituality and being, whether we consciously realize it or not, whether we embrace our sexuality or feel shame while attempting to repress our sexuality due to past religious, cultural, or social influences, it all boils down to the fact that our sexuality was created by God within us, as part of His image, and it is a great measure of how we came to be here, why we are here, what we do here, and who we are while here. Yes, love and sexuality can be found in our very existence and creation. And as God is able to accept us for what we are, through His divine work, so should we also accept ourselves.
As human beings, much of our mental imagery, our thoughts, our desires, and so, our urges and impulses come from what is communicated to us by others. What we read often fuels our passions. Words can and do influence not only what we want but also how we feel, how we “see” things and people. A husband should see his wife in the most desirous ways. The wife should see the husband likewise. Our spouse should see us as being able to provide for all of our needs: spiritual, soulful, and physical. We should do our best and also seek God’s grace in being able to be that provider. Yes, we will certainly fall short. However, falling short does not give us a godly reason to stop providing or to cease striving to be a better provider for all our spouse’s needs and desires.
God has provided us with much reason why sexual passion for our spouse is needed in our lives. He has even provided us with a godly picture of that sexual passion within the scriptures that He has left for us. Then why should we not embrace, encourage, teach, and communicate such sexual passion in our marriages?
Young Stag
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