Katie Brown’s recent post has me thinking about how we as parents can raise our kids with a healthy understanding of sexuality.
By: John Haslam
My son is in early elementary school. Several times over the last couple years I’ve observed him laying on his stomach pulsing his hips ever so slightly. My husband has told me that he used to use a similar method to get himself off when he was a young teen, so I always have supposed that my son is getting some prepubescent stimulation from this activity.
I’ve asked my husband to have a conversation with the boy about this behavior. How awkward if he ever did it when others were around! But my husband has never actually had a chance to observe the behavior. So he has never had the conversation. So the other day I finally said something myself.
“Does that feel good?”
“uh hu.”
“So, I have to tell you. It’s good for you to do that when you are alone, or in your bed at night…but it isn’t okay to do that when other people are around.”
“why not?”
“it just isn’t.”
And then we were interrupted by the little sister who wanted to know what we were talking about, so I really had to change the subject.
I don’t think I totally blundered this conversation, but it probably could have been better.
How do we encourage our kids to explore their own sensuality while simultaneously not telling them too much too soon?
And, by the way, when is too soon to talk to kids about sex? I mean, my kids have gotten anatomy books from the library. They know all about how the sperm meets the egg and makes a baby, but we’ve always conveniently left out the part about how the sperm happens to get anywhere near the egg in the first place…and they’ve never asked.
So, I don’t really know what my question is… But I guess I’m just curious to hear how your parents taught you about these things and how you have taught your own kids.
I really want to think this through so I’m ready the next time the need for a conversation arises.
By: John Haslam
My son is in early elementary school. Several times over the last couple years I’ve observed him laying on his stomach pulsing his hips ever so slightly. My husband has told me that he used to use a similar method to get himself off when he was a young teen, so I always have supposed that my son is getting some prepubescent stimulation from this activity.
I’ve asked my husband to have a conversation with the boy about this behavior. How awkward if he ever did it when others were around! But my husband has never actually had a chance to observe the behavior. So he has never had the conversation. So the other day I finally said something myself.
“Does that feel good?”
“uh hu.”
“So, I have to tell you. It’s good for you to do that when you are alone, or in your bed at night…but it isn’t okay to do that when other people are around.”
“why not?”
“it just isn’t.”
And then we were interrupted by the little sister who wanted to know what we were talking about, so I really had to change the subject.
I don’t think I totally blundered this conversation, but it probably could have been better.
How do we encourage our kids to explore their own sensuality while simultaneously not telling them too much too soon?
And, by the way, when is too soon to talk to kids about sex? I mean, my kids have gotten anatomy books from the library. They know all about how the sperm meets the egg and makes a baby, but we’ve always conveniently left out the part about how the sperm happens to get anywhere near the egg in the first place…and they’ve never asked.
So, I don’t really know what my question is… But I guess I’m just curious to hear how your parents taught you about these things and how you have taught your own kids.
I really want to think this through so I’m ready the next time the need for a conversation arises.
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